Gamer icon Rekkles recently broke his silence about his battle with high-functioning autism during a livestream with Caedrel. For the first time, he opened up about his diagnosis, explaining how this newfound understanding of his brain has offered him a fresh outlook on his life and gaming career.
Rekkles has been a considerable name within the competitive gaming industry, more specifically in the League of Legends scene. His professional career spans over a decade, dotted with transitions, such as a change to T1 and a role swap to a supportive position. However, the most significant recent development in his personal life has been the diagnosis of high-functioning autism.
The seasoned pro gamer hadn't known about his condition until September 2023. After being benched by Fnatic, he took that opportunity to check with a specialist upon his therapist's advice. This visit resulted in him getting to know more about his neurological uniqueness—autism.
"In September, I get my diagnosis. I have high-functioning autism, or I’m on the autism spectrum,” Rekkles revealed. “My first instinct was, ‘Oh my god, my life is over.’ But actually, after getting the diagnosis, my life has just been better. Straight up. Just better.”
After his diagnosis, Rekkles could comprehend more about specific traits of his personality that hadn't worked well for him previously, especially within his professional sphere. He realized having a stable training environment with consistent teammates could bolster his performance significantly. This insight helped him understand why his career seemed unstable with constant team shuffling.
Rekkles had wished he'd known about his condition earlier but expressed gratitude for the clarity he's gained. With this new understanding, he feels he can enhance his life substantially.
An embodiment of pros and cons, the diagnosis has offered Rekkles a comprehensive understanding of his needs as an individual and a professional gamer. For example, he requires rigorously defined schedules but also acknowledges that this strict routine propels his performance as a player.
From now on, Rekkles resolved not to switch teams unless absolutely necessary. He acknowledged that adapting to new environments didn't suit him and he needed to be more mindful about the situations he put himself in.
Due to this, the idea of transitioning to the LCS seemed nearly impossible, although the prospect of returning to the LEC or staying in Korea still appealed to him.
He reflected on the mechanics of his brain functioning and shared an analogy during the live session. He compared his mental state to a PC experiencing a bluescreen, stating that like a PC suddenly shutting down, his mind too often demands reboots. Rekkles maintained that this revelation brought him forward in his journey of self-exploration.
After the diagnosis, Rekkles confessed that he felt relief from past anxieties. He stated, “I think the best feeling that came from it was, before the diagnosis, I always tried to be like everyone else and do what everyone else does. But after the diagnosis, I stopped trying.”
The T1 pro player felt that the diagnosis has been a blend of positive and negative developments. He claimed that it has shed light on his requirements as a player and as a person. It revealed that he needs a clearly outlined schedule and routine to succeed. But it's also brought forth his commitment and dedication - skills that serve as his most positive attributes as a gamer.
Rekkles compared his mind to a bluescreening PC, sharing an analogy to illustrate his condition. "It's as if your PC is bluescreening. There’s nothing wrong with your PC, it’s just bluescreened. I give you the, ‘Sorry, I’m not working as I should’ with a happy smile, and my whole day is finished. I cannot do anything. I have to go to bed and reset, reboot my PC.”
Understanding his mind better has given Rekkles a new sense of clarity, and he's learned to let go of past anxieties. He can now live an authentic life, free from the pressures of fitting in with others' expectations.
According to Rekkles, his revelation and adaptation to autism have been an enlightening experience for his fans and the global gaming community.
As he moves forward in his career, Rekkles seems sure about continuing with T1. The club has been very understanding of his condition and agreed to accommodate his needs, ensuring a conducive environment for the seasoned pro.
On the idea of retiring, Rekkles expressed that he foresees a long-term future in gaming, wanting to continue at least till he's 30 or retiring before Faker does. This determination shows how the gamer has managed to turn his diagnosis round into a force propelling his career further.
The courageous revelation by Rekkles has been a significant step towards increased recognition and acceptance of autism within the gaming community. It offers a shining example of resilience and the willingness to adapt, uplifts the discourse around mental health and neurological diversity, and could inspire other individuals facing similar circumstances.